Graze On

Something burst open yesterday, in me and in the universe. After all, we are the universe and the universe is in us. We are made of stars. I laid my mat on the earth, craving the outdoors, the fresh air, the sky above me and the earth beneath. Prana flowed through me, grounding me and lifting me up all at once. My mind was quieter than ever, allowing me to truly be fully present during my practice. My heart was so open that backbending poses I had never before been able to do came easily. I was so grounded I held my handstand for seven long, slow breaths—longer than I had ever held it before. I lifted into pinchamayurasana with ease and stayed with little effort. I floated through my surya namaskars. My core fired up and kept me centered through it all. Because my mind was quiet, my ego couldn’t butt in and interfere. I was moving purely from my soul. My practice wasn’t perfect—I gently tumbled out of a standing split. Then I laughed and found joy there and realized that even in our flaws there is perfection.

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In a particularly vulnerable moment, I realized that everything that will be already was, and everything that was will be. After that epiphany made itself known to me, I let go. I let go of worry. I let go of stress. I let go of trying to control anything and everything except my own mind. All decisions have already been made. All outcomes have already happened. There’s no need to fret. Worry does nothing but drain our energy. This does not equal nihilism, nor does it negate free will. We still have choices—we’ve just already made them. We can still fight for what’s right, but the difference is that we can fight without struggling.

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Something big shifted in the universe. Can you feel it? No? Be still. Meditate. Breathe. Do yoga. Go for a walk. Pet your dog, cat, bird, horse, ferret or whatever furry/feathery friend you have. Watch your fish. Look up at the sky. Find what you’re grateful for and then sit with that gratitude. Listen to the steady beating of your heart. Feel whatever emotion is there, whether it’s joy, sorrow, hope, despair or longing. Feel itExpress it. Change what needs to be changed. And then move on. Go with the flow. You’ll continue down the river anyway, so why splash about so, unless you’re splashing for fun?

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So please, for the sake of your own beautiful soul, let go. Graze on. Just breathe. Just be.

“The only reason for time is so that everything doesn’t happen at once.” Albert Einstein

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