Just Be

I’m going through a tough time. Sometimes I wish the world would stop spinning so I’d get flung into space, and maybe there, without gravity, the weight on my chest would release me. This evening I just wanted to be with the horses. I didn’t want to ride. I just wanted to be. With the horses, I don’t have to pretend. I don’t have to pretend I’m ok when inside I’m falling apart. I don’t have to pretend to be happy when all I want to do is release the well of tears building up inside. Horses let me just be. They don’t pass judgment. They don’t criticize. They don’t tell me to toughen up. They just let me be. Because that is where they always exist – the simple, yet profound state of simply being. I plopped down in the field and Snowy came up to me, grazed right next to me, gradually moved outward, then he came back and nuzzled me again, grazed next to me, slowly moved outward, and then came back. This went on for a while, with Snowy letting me know in his own way that he was there to witness my pain, and to allow me to express it. After a while, Snowy let out a deep sigh, and I immediately did the same. It didn’t fix everything, but it alleviated some of the heaviness. I wonder what this world would be like if we were more like horses. If we didn’t pretend nor expect others to pretend. If we had the strength to sit with pain and vulnerability. I imagine the world would be a slightly better place. 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s