“We carry belonging with us in our heart.” ~Brené Brown
The need to belong is a basic urge all humans feel. My entire life, I have felt different, and I have felt like I don’t belong anywhere, or in any one group. I’ve had numerous painful fallouts with friends, especially groups of girlfriends, because when a group turns into a clique, I refuse to lower my vibration to that level. I have tried to find belonging in various clubs in high school and college, and in various social groups since then, but I have always felt apart. The only place I’ve ever felt true belonging is with my horses.
My journey since college graduation has been windy and uncertain. For eight years, I’ve been trying to figure out what to do with this one precious, amazing gift that is life. At times, I felt sure I had figured it out, only for that path to come to a dead end, but I never lost faith. When a door would close, I knew the universe had something else in store. The only two things I remained sure of during these past eight years is my love and passion for horses and yoga. I knew that no matter what, I had to keep horses and yoga in my life.
An idea began to form that maybe one day I could have my own business incorporating horses and yoga, but I thought that would be further down the road after some other career that I would find. Well, it looks like the universe has its own timeline, and the time for me to have my own horse yoga business is NOW.
I’m ecstatic to announce that I’ve found the perfect, most serene and beautiful farm to lease—there’s even a space that I’m going to turn into a yoga studio! The farm is located here in Virginia among the gorgeous mountains with thousands of acres of ride out, a huge outdoor arena, and great paddocks for turnout. The barn itself is pretty much my dream barn, too. Once I took the leap and trusted the universe that the time for me to start this business is now, things have been falling into place so easily that I almost have a hard time believing it’s real. But real it is. I wake up happy every morning. Moving into this dream and making it a reality has reignited something in me that has been dormant since some trauma I went through around age 10. I feel joyful again. I’ve released my fear. I’ve let go of doubt.
Where there is light, there will also be darkness. My facility is going to be a training and boarding business that focuses on helping people develop deep, meaningful relationships and bonds with their horses. In addition to mounted riding lessons that focus on teaching centered/balanced riding, I’ll also be teaching programs on the ground and in the round pen that teach people how to communicate with horses on an energetic, psychic level. Needless to say, my barn is going to be different, and that’s how I want it to be. I know it will attract the right people and horses.
The dark side to all of this is that I’m finding out who doesn’t believe in me or support me. True friends are happy for others’ success. True friends believe in you no matter what. True friends support you in your endeavors. The thing is, I don’t need anyone else to believe in me, because I believe in me, I know what’s true in my heart, and I know I’m on the right path. I DO have wonderful, amazing people in my life who believe in and support me, and the few I’m finding out who don’t, well, that’s not my problem.
I’m grateful for every single chapter of my life, but I am so excited for this next one. This isn’t a happy ending, this is my happy beginning.